What We Wanted: A Deep Dive into Infertility, Societal Pressure, and the Cost of “Having It All”

The “What We Wanted” trailer poses a simple, yet profoundly complex question: can a couple find happiness and fulfillment when their deepest desire, to have children, remains unfulfilled? The film, more than a mere depiction of infertility struggles, illuminates the societal pressures, emotional turmoil, and the redefinition of “family” that many couples grapple with in the face of biological limitations. It suggests that while the yearning for parenthood might be a powerful driving force, acceptance, alternative paths to fulfillment, and redefining personal desires are crucial for navigating life’s unexpected detours.

The Weight of Expectation: Infertility and Societal Pressure

“What We Wanted” subtly exposes the unspoken expectations society places on couples regarding parenthood. The film demonstrates how infertility, often shrouded in secrecy and shame, can amplify these pressures, leading to feelings of isolation and inadequacy.

The Silent Stigma of Infertility

The stigma surrounding infertility forces many couples to suffer in silence. This silence is perpetuated by:

  • The pervasive narrative that having children is a natural and expected life stage.
  • A lack of open conversations about infertility, its causes, and its emotional impact.
  • The insensitive comments and unsolicited advice often offered by well-meaning friends and family.

This silence can be incredibly damaging, preventing couples from seeking support and creating a sense of shame and isolation.

Beyond Biological Function: Identity and Worth

The inability to conceive often extends beyond a biological limitation; it can profoundly impact a couple’s sense of identity and self-worth. The film showcases how the protagonists, Alice and Niklas, struggle with feelings of inadequacy, questioning their value both individually and as a couple. They begin to doubt their ability to fulfill their perceived roles as partners and individuals.

Redefining Family: Finding Fulfillment Beyond Biological Parenthood

The heart of “What We Wanted” lies in its exploration of alternative paths to parenthood and the redefinition of “family.” The film subtly proposes that fulfillment doesn’t necessarily require biological children, and that love, connection, and purpose can be found in other avenues.

Exploring Alternative Pathways

The film hints at, but doesn’t explicitly delve into, various alternatives to biological parenthood, such as:

  • Adoption: Providing a loving home to a child in need.
  • Fostering: Offering temporary care and support to children and adolescents.
  • Remaining childfree: Focusing on personal growth, career aspirations, and strengthening the couple’s bond.

Finding Purpose and Connection

The film suggests that individuals and couples can find fulfillment through:

  • Investing in their relationships: Strengthening their bond with each other, their families, and their friends.
  • Pursuing personal passions: Focusing on hobbies, careers, and personal growth.
  • Making a difference in the world: Volunteering, mentoring, or contributing to a cause they care about.

FAQs: Unpacking the Complexities of “What We Wanted”

FAQ 1: What is the main theme of “What We Wanted”?

The main theme revolves around the struggle with infertility, societal pressures to have children, and the quest to redefine happiness and family when faced with unexpected challenges. It explores the emotional toll of infertility and the potential for finding fulfillment through alternative pathways.

FAQ 2: How does the film portray the emotional impact of infertility on a couple?

The film realistically depicts the emotional turmoil caused by infertility, including feelings of grief, anger, inadequacy, and isolation. It showcases the strain infertility can place on a relationship, highlighting the importance of communication and support.

FAQ 3: What societal pressures does the film address regarding parenthood?

“What We Wanted” subtly reveals the unspoken expectations and societal norms that pressure couples to have children. These include the assumption that having children is a natural life stage, the judgment faced by childless couples, and the insensitivity often displayed by others regarding fertility struggles.

FAQ 4: Does the film offer solutions or hope for couples struggling with infertility?

While the film doesn’t offer easy solutions, it provides a sense of hope by showcasing how couples can navigate infertility through acceptance, open communication, and exploring alternative paths to fulfillment. It encourages viewers to redefine their expectations and find happiness beyond biological parenthood.

FAQ 5: What role does the “perfect family” vacation play in the film’s narrative?

The vacation to Sardinia acts as a catalyst, forcing Alice and Niklas to confront their own pain and limitations. Observing the seemingly “perfect” family next door amplifies their feelings of inadequacy and intensifies their desire for parenthood. However, it also ultimately leads them to a turning point and a different perspective.

FAQ 6: Is “What We Wanted” based on a true story?

While not directly based on a specific true story, “What We Wanted” is inspired by a book and addresses a very real and common struggle faced by millions of couples worldwide. The film resonates because it reflects the experiences and emotions of many individuals dealing with infertility.

FAQ 7: How does the film contribute to the conversation about infertility?

“What We Wanted” helps normalize the conversation about infertility by bringing it to the forefront. It encourages open dialogue and provides a platform for sharing experiences, reducing the stigma and isolation associated with the condition.

FAQ 8: What are some of the cultural differences portrayed in the film, considering it’s an Austrian production?

While the themes of infertility and societal pressure are universal, the film may subtly reflect certain Austrian cultural norms regarding family values and expectations. However, these nuances are generally subtle and do not detract from the film’s overall message.

FAQ 9: How does the film portray the role of male infertility?

While the film primarily focuses on Alice’s emotional journey, it subtly acknowledges that infertility can be a shared issue, and both partners experience its effects. However, the primary focus remains on the female perspective and the societal expectations placed upon women regarding motherhood.

FAQ 10: What are the key takeaways for viewers struggling with infertility?

The key takeaways include:

  • You are not alone.
  • It’s okay to grieve and acknowledge your pain.
  • Redefining your expectations is crucial for finding happiness.
  • There are alternative paths to fulfillment and family.
  • Seeking support from loved ones or professionals is essential.

FAQ 11: What makes “What We Wanted” different from other films about infertility?

Unlike some films that focus solely on the medical aspects of infertility, “What We Wanted” delves deeper into the psychological and emotional impact on individuals and couples. It explores the societal pressures and the quest for self-acceptance, offering a more nuanced and relatable portrayal.

FAQ 12: Where can individuals struggling with infertility find support resources?

Numerous resources are available for individuals and couples struggling with infertility, including:

  • RESOLVE: The National Infertility Association
  • Fertility clinics and specialists
  • Support groups (both online and in-person)
  • Mental health professionals specializing in infertility
  • Online forums and communities dedicated to infertility support.

In conclusion, “What We Wanted” offers a poignant and thought-provoking exploration of infertility, societal pressures, and the search for meaning beyond traditional definitions of family. It encourages viewers to question their own expectations and find happiness in unexpected places, ultimately reminding us that life’s journey is about more than just achieving predetermined goals.

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