“Prayers for Bobby” is a profoundly moving film based on the true story of Mary Griffith and her struggle to accept her gay son, Bobby, ultimately leading to his tragic suicide. The film powerfully adapts Leroy Aarons’ 1995 book, “Prayers for Bobby: A Mother’s Coming to Terms with the Suicide of Her Gay Son,” which meticulously chronicles the Griffith family’s journey through religious dogma, societal prejudice, and devastating loss.
A Mother’s Devotion, a Son’s Despair
The narrative meticulously follows the Griffith family, devout Presbyterians living in Walnut Creek, California. Mary Griffith, portrayed with raw emotion in the film, wholeheartedly embraces the conservative teachings of her church, viewing homosexuality as a sin. When her son, Bobby, confides in her about his same-sex attraction, Mary embarks on a desperate campaign to “cure” him, subjecting him to therapy and prayer, fueled by her unwavering belief that she is acting in his best interest.
As Bobby grapples with his mother’s rejection and the perceived conflict between his identity and his family’s faith, he withdraws, becoming increasingly isolated and hopeless. The film chillingly portrays his internal struggle, highlighting the devastating impact of parental disapproval and the societal pressures that can drive LGBTQ+ youth to despair. The climax, as in real life, is heart-wrenching: Bobby, overwhelmed by the rejection and unable to reconcile his sexuality with his family’s beliefs, commits suicide by jumping off a freeway overpass.
Following Bobby’s death, Mary embarks on a profound transformation. Wracked with guilt and remorse, she begins to question the religious doctrines that fueled her intolerance. She attends meetings of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays (PFLAG), listens to the stories of other LGBTQ+ individuals and their families, and gradually comes to understand the devastating consequences of her actions. Mary becomes a passionate advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, dedicating her life to promoting understanding, acceptance, and preventing similar tragedies from happening to other families.
The film, like the book, is a powerful indictment of religious bigotry and the harmful effects of conversion therapy. It serves as a stark reminder of the importance of unconditional love, acceptance, and the urgent need to create a more inclusive and supportive world for LGBTQ+ youth. It is not just a biographical drama; it is a call to action.
Unpacking the Truth: Frequently Asked Questions
To further understand the context and significance of “Prayers for Bobby,” consider the following FAQs:
Bobby’s Life and Struggles
H3: What specific actions did Mary Griffith take to try and “cure” Bobby?
Mary’s attempts included taking Bobby to a church-approved therapist who practiced conversion therapy, forcing him to read religious texts, engaging in constant prayer sessions, and repeatedly emphasizing the “sinfulness” of homosexuality. She controlled his social life, discouraging friendships that she deemed “unhealthy.” She even tried to involve other members of the church in her efforts to change him.
H3: How old was Bobby when he came out to his family?
Bobby confided in his brother about his sexuality first and then eventually to his mother. He came out to his mother, Mary, at the age of 19.
H3: Did Bobby have any other siblings? What was their reaction?
Yes, Bobby had three siblings: two brothers and one sister. While the film portrays their initial reactions as mixed, his siblings eventually offered him varying degrees of support and understanding. His sister, Nancy, in particular, is shown to be more accepting from the outset, while his brothers initially struggle but ultimately offer their support after Bobby’s death.
Mary’s Transformation and Advocacy
H3: What was the turning point for Mary that led to her activism?
The turning point was undoubtedly Bobby’s suicide. The immense grief and guilt she experienced forced her to confront the harmful impact of her beliefs and actions. Attending PFLAG meetings and listening to the stories of other LGBTQ+ individuals and their families further solidified her commitment to advocating for LGBTQ+ rights.
H3: What specific legislative actions did Mary Griffith support or advocate for?
Mary Griffith became a vocal advocate for LGBTQ+ rights, particularly those related to suicide prevention and discrimination protection. She worked to pass anti-discrimination laws and supported initiatives aimed at creating safer and more inclusive environments for LGBTQ+ youth. She often testified before legislative bodies, sharing her personal story to humanize the issue and advocate for policy changes. She became a driving force behind the anti-discrimination ordinance in Walnut Creek.
H3: How involved was Mary Griffith in the production of the book and the film?
Leroy Aarons consulted with Mary Griffith extensively while writing “Prayers for Bobby.” She provided him with personal journals, letters, and family photographs, offering intimate insights into her experiences and Bobby’s life. While she was not directly involved in the filmmaking process beyond providing her story as the basis, she supported the project and saw it as an opportunity to reach a wider audience with her message of acceptance and understanding.
The Accuracy and Impact of the Film
H3: How accurate is the film “Prayers for Bobby” compared to the book and the real events?
While the film takes some dramatic liberties for narrative purposes, it largely stays true to the core events and emotional arc of the book and the Griffith family’s story. Some details may be compressed or simplified, but the film accurately portrays the key relationships, the family’s religious beliefs, Bobby’s struggles, and Mary’s transformation. The essence of the true story is preserved.
H3: What impact has “Prayers for Bobby” had on LGBTQ+ rights and acceptance?
“Prayers for Bobby” has had a significant impact on raising awareness about the dangers of religious intolerance and the importance of accepting LGBTQ+ youth. The film has been widely used as an educational tool in schools, churches, and community organizations, sparking conversations about sexuality, religion, and family relationships. Its powerful message of hope and reconciliation has resonated with audiences worldwide, contributing to increased understanding and acceptance of the LGBTQ+ community.
H3: Are there any criticisms of the film or its portrayal of the events?
Some criticisms focus on the film’s perceived romanticization of Mary Griffith’s transformation, arguing that it glosses over the severity of her initial actions and minimizes the long-term impact of her rejection on Bobby. Others suggest that the film’s focus on religious guilt overshadows the broader societal factors contributing to LGBTQ+ discrimination and suicide.
Conversion Therapy and Its Dangers
H3: What is conversion therapy, and why is it considered harmful?
Conversion therapy, also known as reparative therapy, refers to a range of dangerous and discredited practices that falsely claim to change a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity. These practices often involve psychological manipulation, emotional abuse, and, in some cases, physical harm. Conversion therapy is harmful because it is based on the false premise that LGBTQ+ identities are a mental illness or defect that needs to be “cured.” It can lead to depression, anxiety, self-harm, and suicide, particularly among vulnerable youth.
H3: Is conversion therapy legal everywhere in the United States?
No, conversion therapy is not legal everywhere in the United States. Many states and local jurisdictions have enacted laws banning the practice of conversion therapy on minors. However, it remains legal in many areas, highlighting the urgent need for comprehensive federal legislation to protect LGBTQ+ youth from this harmful practice.
H3: Where can someone go for help if they are struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identity and are facing family rejection?
Several organizations offer support and resources for LGBTQ+ individuals struggling with their sexual orientation or gender identity, especially those facing family rejection. Some of the most prominent include The Trevor Project, PFLAG, GLAAD, and local LGBTQ+ community centers. These organizations provide hotlines, online resources, support groups, and educational materials to help individuals navigate their identities, cope with family challenges, and find supportive communities. It’s important to remember that help is available and that you are not alone.